More answers to questions from a wife in the guestbook / chat...

Would I agree I'm a 'normal' guy?

YES – I'm more than a normal guy or bloke.. I did well at school and in sport, was popular and I went onto College and Uni studying Engineering and got my degree  then went on and got a good job and have been promoted to quite a senior level with a lot of respect and responsibility which can impact on a lot of peoples lives if I get something wrong, which leads to some of the stress I feel (which is mainly due to reorgs and having less staff to do more work etc).

I met my wife at 19 when she was 18 and we got married in 2001 we then went on to have kids..

All sounds very normal to me, in fact I'm a family man, would rather go out with my wife and kids, or a rare opportunity at a date with my wife, or as couples than with the boys, although it is nice sometimes to be out with just the blokes (but I always think I'm glad I'm not single)…

House, Car, need to lose a bit of weight and get fit again, love movies and music and singing .. just a normal bloke.. “above average at most things a natural born leader and dashingly good looking, …. with a dry sense of humour” lol but very normal…

People in work have described me as professional, honest, trustworthy, intelligent, funny, caring, friendly, but also arrogant, big head, typical alpha male … Those come from workshops in work where people have described me and the latter from the wife lol.. I haven't been on many stag dos as don't think a lot about this “last bit of freedom before getting married nonsense but the one I went on I ended up holding the kitty as they all voted me the most trustworty, honest and most reliable lol.

For a bit of fun, escapism, and a release from the Norm of being a normal man with a stressful job .. I like to and have for years do a spot of occasional crossdressing and enjoy trying to look convincing and for those few hours its not a split personality it's still me but as my wife has noticed a more relaxed, calmer and she says nicer me… which despite all the above .. and I could be described as the above to an audience and then at the end they say a thoroughly good guy and then I say “but I'm a crossdresser” and all of a sudden I'm a weird gay pervert, who wants to be a woman and that is sooo far off the mark its unbelievable.. but alas that’s the sociality view of Crossdressers.

I'm that normal no one would EVER think I'd be a crossdresser. My wife said “It's just not you” but it is.

I am Normal and for all we know every man on the planet crossdresses but they're all n the closet lol.

You shouldn't let your husbands crossdressing alter how you view him overall at all.

He is still the same person you met and fell in love with… If he liked Starwars and liked to dress up as Dart Vader or other characters would you still view him differently?

Can you shed the thought of OMG he's dressing up as a woman and like my wife thinks of it as he's dressed up? Fancy dress even?

It's social conditioning which causes the “shock and awe” of men dressing as women which inversely women can dress openly as men .. you don't see us kicking up a fuss lol ..we'll actually we do as we sulk because our women aren't in stockings or tights dresses, sexy lingerie and high heels with their hair nice and makeup immaculate… As we've previously discussed we have this image of how we like women to look and dress (our social conditioning) and as more and more women dress more masculine and for “comfort” and make less effort with makeup etc we may see a revolution of more men reaching out to crossdressing to some degree or another for the myriad of reasons why we crossdress.

We have no idea how many men crossdress and to what degree but my gut feel is more and more are crossdressing in secret… I suppose the answer may be within search engines and trans website membership if I could get the figures I’m willing to bet there is an upward trend.

Your husband still is a funny, smart, professional, educated amazing man what he wears and if he pretends to be a woman has no bearing on this.

You wont know this but part of what you were attracted to is his “fem side” which we men hate to admit that we have buried within us but my research into crossdressing and my own crossdressing leads me to believe we do have a fem side or maybe some trait of femininity we picked up from our mothers as our fathers we're telling us to go back and smack that bully on the nose or get out there and play rugby etc.

I don't and I bet he doesn't have some female personality spinning at all times our heads as we're crossdressers that is all we don't want to go any further than that although it is easier in thought and in conversation to talk of me or your husband being crossdressed in this 3rd person .. Eg  Saying to my wife Davina would love those high heels.. That's not me weirdly talking of myself in some weird personality its just a way of dealing with the communication.. Davina to me isn’t this other person with long sexy legs and flowing blonde hair and red lips lol Davina is just the name I use for the sake of having a name to describe me when crossdressed and I'm sure your husband is the same.

“He says I look nice, I don't believe him and figure he wants to wear it”

NO NO NO NO NO!! You're soooo wrong and you should take even more notice of him if he tells you you look nice as he's a bloomin expert.

OK he may be thinking I'd love to try that on and also probably thinking I wish I looked as good as her.. but take heed We Crossdressers have an eye for fashion and if we say you look nice its as simple as that you look nice.. very nice..

He isn't jealous that you're an attractive girl, in fact he's probably more than over the moon he's got an attractive girl on his arm.. however maybe he does resent which is a strong word but you've already admitted that maybe you don't make so much effort and go more for comfort over sexy and he may resent and be confused by this..  I know I am with my wife as I'd like to see her in dresses more often and all made up and in high heels not all the time but more often.

When she does I'm like a dog on heat actually I'm usually like a dog on heat but more so when she's made the effort to dress up nice (how I perceive nice) and made the time to do her hair and makeup and slip on heels etc..

Ask him outright “Are you jealous of the way I look?” He may say yes I'd love to be able to look like you …. but from time to time when he's crossdressed as we strive to look convincing and attractive and nice when we “transform” but it won't be some deep seated jealousy thing which I think you're angling at.

If he looks attractive as a Crossdressed man do you feel Jealous?

It doesn't annoy me one iota that my wife is a pretty female and I'm not as I'm a man and love women and the fact the one on my arm is pretty sexy is pretty cool.

It hasn't ever crossed my mind, I've never thought about things in this way ever or ever been the slightest annoyed that I cannot look as pretty and as fem as my wife… My wife is sexy (tho she wont admit it) boobs to die for (lol), long legs (which she doesn't show off enough for my liking), lush lips, nice hair, grabbable bum lol and is such a nice person..

The frustration or annoyance is women become mothers and wives and us men become Dads and husbands but we're the same we wear the same things, do the same things but women change and head to wards “comfort!!!”.

Do I think differently once I start crossdressing?

Well.. um not really .. There is this excitement that builds up when I feel I will be able to crossdress and butterflys in the stomach always.

Then I get the place to myself and get ready and slip into something “more comfortable” as they say and put on makeup and enjoy seeing myself getting transformed from “Alpha man” into Leggy blonde “Davina” with the piestaresistance the wig which goes on last brushed and then a look in the mirror “Et Voilla” Transformed from stressed out Alpha man to chilled out Crossdressed me.. Hard to explain but as my wife will contest I'm still cheeky chappy me just dressed differently and somehow nicer to her (so she says).

But I don't think differently .. Usually I get dressed when working from home then back to work on the laptop and phone and phone conference lol (long story but I was briefly on a video conference as Davina by mistake .. very briefly which I've blogged about.. I didn’t realise my new work laptop had a camera and in Webex it would come on automatic in the settings lol what a shock .. but I did get some nice comments and no one sussed me lol).

Is Davina another person talking in my head?

Sorry and I couldn't help it but I really did laugh out loud reading that.. No Davina isn't some sexy blonde trapped in my head talking to me.

My thoughts are my own … There is only room for one of me in my head.

Davina is just a name I'm still me when dressed although I think I look hotter as “Davina” lol but I would as I'm not attracted to men so not attracted to my male image in the mirror but so vane I like how I look as “Davina” but no there is no “she” in my head talking to me.

Your husband is spot on you are nuts for suggesting this lol but it is a valid question and one which needs to be explored as what if your husband turned around and said YES!!

I suppose some people fall into this category of the alter ego is another person inside their head.. that’s called Schizophrenic lol. (and I shouldn't put lol really as its a serious condition for some and someone will tell me off for the lol I expect but by now people should know I don't mean anything wider that the lol to you not lol at the condition .. moving on).

You think a lot of wives wonder what the thoughts in their husbands head are like?

Well let me sum it up:
We think about sex ever 0.6 seconds lol
Work takes up a lot of space in the brain processing (even after work into the night and throughout the night keeping us awake)
Finances and how much money we have in the bank and what we can save for a rainy day.
Sport lots of Sport and how happy we can be can be ruled by how well our Sports teams are doing at the time.
Family and health.
Other feelings we keep hidden and bottled up “As we're MEN”
We sometimes think of the crossdressing but it's not like we think about it 24/7.
I expect we think of crossdressing if we know we may have an opportunity to dress, or if we're a little stressed and need the bit of escapism crossdressing provides etc or if we see something when out and think hmmmm thats nice..
And lots of other things..

When we are crossdressed what do we think of?

We initially enjoy getting changed thinking I hope I can do my eye makeup good this time and get my lippy spot on, I hope I shaved close enough and this foundation and powder will conceal any manliness and I hope my wig will behave then we're changed and we get a satisfaction of wow I look quite nice this is nice and I feel so nice and relaxed and also feel a lil sexy and sometimes this leads to feeling a lil horny.

Then for me I may go and do some work on the laptop and I’m just thinking about work but every now and then get up walk to the mirror and be vane then sit back down and work or if I'm away in a hotel I may be watching a film in the hotel room just dressed watching a film or the news or might be on line chatting to other crossdressers or wives and the topics can range from, crossdressing, what we're wearing, what we're doing, work, current affairs and politics, sport just your run of the mill chat and sometimes even sex lives and marriage just a load of blah blah blah really but nice to communicate with other misunderstood crossdressers and even better to chat to wives and girlfriends about things like we're discussing.

What do you think we think of? Or rather what is it you and other wives think we think of?

I suppose someone who has just found out about her husband crossdressing would think “Men” but euuughhhh why would we talk about men. We're straight!!!!!!

Who do I see when I look in the mirror? Davina or male me?

I see me crossdressed but it's easier to convey as I see Davina.. Male me looks nothing like Davina which is a strange thing to say but I could show someone a photo of me looking all manly with stubble etc then show someone a photo of me dressed up “Davina” and I'm willing to bet most people wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together and say “is that you?”

I see a woman in the mirror, not as convincing as I'd like but from a distance I think I'd pass, she has  (look at me referring to her as someone else lol but its easier for a min) she has a nice figure, amazingly sexy legs and a nice bum, her makeup is pretty immaculate and her long blonde hair is very sexy, shes fashionably dressed and is wearing nice hosiery and high heels .. she looks very nice.

You didn't ask how do we act?

Now here's something which you may find amusing or strange but speaking for myself but probably for others too who have dressed in front of our other halves when I dress and my wife is here she says I’m nicer to her and I haven't fathomed how or why as I don't think I act ANY different with her when I’m crossdressed as I do when I'm dressed as male me.

However when home alone I probably have a bit more of a mincing walk lol and probably act more fem alone than I would in front of her as I don't know how she'd take it if in front of her I acted different or acted more like a woman to go with looking like a woman and that sounds weird as I don't really act different but I suppose I'm still a little uptight when around my wife crossdressed as don’t want to freak her out or upset her when I'm in fem mode so to speak.

Maybe I'm more relaxed when home alone crossdressed as I've spent 90% of my time crossdressed alone and only recently 10% of it in front of my wife. That’s nothing against my wife and she would probably laugh if I walked more camp or woman like.. In fact I'm worrying about nothing as she's advised me to pull my shoulders back more and stick my tits out lol when I walk as Davina lol.

If it's the male, then why do most of you hate your body hair etc so much?

Body hair ewwwww.. Have you seen hairy Neanderthal looking blokes with a fuzz on their chests backs out of their ears and noses why would any man in his right mind want to look like an ape???

If I crossdressed or not hair on my body would be gone it is rank… lol

I shave my chest and pubic area and under my arms and the hair off my knuckles (as I don’t want to look like a wear wolf) and I shave about 8 inches off the top of my legs / thighs and obviously if I crosdress my face but usually as a man I have a bit of stubble as think as a man I look nicer with a bit of stubble.

I have never shaved my legs and with 60-100 denier stockings or tights and being blonde and not really hairy I don't need to.. but everything above stocking tops is shaved and would be the same if I wasn’t a crossdresser.. I feel cleaner, less sweaty in the summer shaven .. If I do let hair grow its all itchy and ewwww so it has nothing to do with crossdressing and more to do with male pruning and vanity.. I think my body looks better as a male smooth..

How can I be happy being male when so much time is spent removing all traces of him?

It is little effort to maintain yourself as a man even shaving above the stocking tops.
I cut my own hair and would like to be slimmer and fitter (watch this space for that as I begin my summer body workouts lol).

I'm happy being male “it's a mans world” as they say although women are coming more and more into prominence but I'm a man, a bloke I'm happy with myself as a man .. my nose could be a bit smaller and straighter (Broken about 10 times playing sport) … I don't spend the time to remove all traces of being a man or think about it ever apart from when I have time to crossdress and then the aim is to remove all traces of masculinity and of the “man” to try to look like a woman as convincing as possible when crossdressed..

If I couldn’t look convincing then as I said before maybe I wouldn’t do it and it may well stop as I get older if I can't pull it off. (no pun intended there lol).

I enjoy writing back to you and hope this is helping you and others… Keep firing the questions as they're all valid and apologies for laughing out loud for real about “Davina talking to me in my head” :)

looking forward to more questions … Its a free for all anyone can chip in x