A blogged reply to the wife who wrote in the guestbook / chat

I'm open to all comments and thoughts from Crossdressers and especially wives and girlfriends and you wrote so well so I could find it an insult.

Some T-Girls have stronger reasons and feelings than others as I've found out with some wrath towards me from trans people who don’t like my “Crossdressing Blog”

Crossdressers are very misunderstood even in the Trans world.

I 100% agree wives shouldn’t have to tiptoe around their anger and concerns.

I value your opinion as I'm sure other wives will feel the same and I want this blog to be real so it cannot all be positive “hey its ok to crossdress”.

I'm sure my wife will agree we still find it hard to talk about crossdressing and sometimes its easier to talk to someone else about it and share fears and advice etc .. there's no insult to my wife she knows I chat on a trans website and have this blog and reads the blog and the guestbook messages.

I think you also misinterpret swapping compliments as the wife gave me a compliment as to how I looked crossdressed and I complimented her also that's just being polite isn't it?

Its not seeking acceptance elsewhere but its something anyone seeks isn't it? Helps with self esteem etc? After all us crossdressers try to look convincing and its nice to be told you look ok. What can I say we're vane.

I'd never think of having therapy as my crossdressing is controlled and my mind in sound and rational about it. Some it seems do need therapy but I'd not count myself one and doubt my wife would count me as needing therapy either. Maybe she would disagree and if she asked me to seek therapy i would but i dont think it would stop my crossdressing.

I agree harmless can become harmful if communication is lacking but even tho its hard we do discuss my crossdressing.

I'm glad the way I describe Crossdressing makes some sense to you and doesn't upset or insult you.

Its not all been plain sailing and I'm sure my wife has felt little insults and jabs along the way as we live and learn how to talk about and deal and compromise crossdressing in our life as the little big issue it is..

She definitely didn't jump for joy about it and I wasn't expecting her to (tho hoped she would lol).

I didn't expect her to yell yipee and we've addressed this.

Is a hard topic to bring up in the first place let alone discuss with many crossdressers in the closet.

We met (I've crossdressed since very young but my dressing for years died off) and then we married and I'm a heterosexual man as many crossdressers are.

It was years later I told her of my crossdressing which returned during our marriage
 

Out of the blue my wife asked to dress me as a woman which sparked my crosdressing further and at that point I made my crossdressing confession much to her surprise and also very upsetting for her and incredibly hard for me to confess as a red blooded alpha male acting man to admit my escapism “crossdressing”

The problem is mine but get this I fretted and worried over what to do and decided I needed to tell my wife as our love and marriage is strong enough to withstand me dressing up, I'm intelligent I can explain it (it took years to explain and compromise) shes intelligent she will get her head around it eventually  to whatever extent...it was also in my mind the right thing to do in telling her I crossdress as the alternative was bottling up the stress and it becoming unhealthy and also the possibility I would be caught crossdressed and then how to explain it?

That may sound selfish but my rational was I could be doing something far worse than dressing up as a woman.

I believe I'm a strong willed human being and have never considered therapy as I accept this part of myself as part of myself and as not doing anything wrong.

I mean its society as a whole who decided and imprinted how men and women ”should” look and dress, so why do I need therapy for something as unexplainable as going against the society norm in crossdressing… there are lots of other things which go against society imprinted norms a lot far worse than dressing up.

I enjoy reading you viewpoint and I do understand your views as it may be your husband and myself are different or the same in terms of crossdressing or if communication is lacking (hard subject to talk about) or what experiences you've had with crossdressing compared to my wife and myself.
 

I agree it is very hard to make clear points on a guest post page as it is in a blog as my blogs have been misread and forum posts twisted by some trans people to cause argument or to just be awkward so hope were both reading into what we mean with no twisting of words and meanings and all good intentions.

My wife reads my blog and the Skype chat wasn't planned as I wrote I was in my Davina email (which I need for this blog) and the wife messaged me in skype which I didn't realise was linked to outlook and my hotmail account.

We chatted in general and it was with great nervousness that I showed myself as Davina briefly as we chatted.

Had I not been dressed I would not have gone on video (I saw it as I was in disguise and having chatted a lot to this particular wife decided she was nice, intelligent and safe to chat with and safe for my wife to chat with if she wanted to).

Ok maybe it sounds a bit dodgy with the 'away on business/chatting with an accepting woman' part but my wife knows I pack “Davina” in a bag sometimes when I work away and may dress in my hotel room as I've blogged about the same as I sometimes crossdress when I work from home if the urge takes me.

Nothing is behind her back its all in print here and I would be upset if she assumed I was upto no good as we trust one another and are both open and honest.

I still don't get your being insulted… Have you seen photos of men dressed tarty? Maybe thats the insulting part? .. Have you also seen pics of men and think no way is that a man and noticed how some crossdressers can look convincing and dress day to day to try to look convincing and nice as a woman and not at all tarty.. Imitation is a form of flattery not insult most of the time

I don't get how you think we crossdressers think women are all fluff and frills and lacking substance, to me were all equal …. apart from you can wear what you like and look however you like and we have to be “men” and that's really boring.. have you tried dressing as a man how boring it is.

It seems being masculine is more accepted and lauded even in strong women but acting feminine is frowned upon?

I get how womens lives are as stressful as ours I really do but that's a grand assumption and generalisation not knowing personal reasons for stress particularly on my part but my wife also has stress and my dressing up no doubt doesn't help..

Crossdressing is an enigma you are correct which is why I want my blog to try to show in a way that dispels some of the myths about crossdressing but unfortunately some myths are true to some extent which you've no doubt experianced or seen to some extent