Crossdressing = Insult to women?? Or Imitation a Form of Flattery?

08/04/2016 22:51

I posed in a Trans forum parts of a message I had in the Guestbook / Chat from a Wife.

 

I welcome all aspects and comments as long as they are clean and not insulting but constructive, informative and helpful to others reading it to see all sides in the discussion of why me may crossdress and how people react to it differently.

 

There are may reasons why we crossdress and it seems no two crossdressers have the exact same reasons which leads to great debate in the trans community and there are many other levels of transvestism which I cannot explore or elaborate on as I think I fall within the bracket of crossdressing (occasional, for escapism and relaxation) nothing more than that .. I don't want to live as or be a woman but I do get something from dressing and trying to look as good as I can “in drag” for want of a better expression and drop my alpha maleness for a while.

 

My wife notices I'm different dressed maybe its dropping my guard, but at the end of the day always more than happy to return to male mode albeit a more relaxed male mode.. and as my wife says “Its so nice to take off a bra after wearing it all day”

 

I have cut some comments from replies from a range of trans people on the forum which shows some dissatisfaction of some of the comments and some comments which point to my point that crossdressers are the least understood in the trans world where women and trans people question crossdressing? Don't get me started on LGBT but it doesn't seem Crossdressing fits in there either.

 

Thoughts of other T-Girls:

  • Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…

  • There's a lot of crossdressing that's an insult to trans people.

  • Its lumping us all in one boat.

  • I guess there are some who 'play' at dress up as a form of stress relief, but there are an awful lot of other reasons why 'we' dress.

  • There are many reasons why people choose to dress and the only one i can think of that would be insulting to women are those who do it as a way to degrade themselves, as this suggests that they see females as the lesser sex

  • I'm sure the majority of us crossdress as we either want to be a female, don't believe in gender lines, enjoy becoming someone different once in a while or are just jealous that women have so many more options when deciding how they want to look

  • It isn't just women who feel threatened by transvestism. Gay men can be just as bad.

  • Equality is made up for by letting women off a sinking ship first and holding doors open for them

  • We have a women questioning crossdressing, outwardly there is no problem with CD' s wearing women's clothes as a way to relax,

  • Personally I ''dress'' because its what I want to do.

  • Perhaps she fears that it may go further than just crossdressing.

  • It's a thin line for some women to except that being a CD is not the same as a fetish transvestite who dresses solely for the purpose of sex.

  • Many of the general public also can see no difference, between transgender, CD, transvestite, fetish transvestite it's a major problem for many who face that hurdle if transitioning and god only knows women have problems understanding why their husbands wear women's clothes

  • Some CDs are insulting to women, the ones who think all women are just a bunch of sluts to be used by men. And that is what they emulate themselves as a CD.

  • I know plenty of regular women, that have no problems with CDs.

  • I also know women who are ok with CDs but who wouldn’t want their husbands to crossdress

  • As a Trans woman I know I should be more enlightened, but just as most CDs cannot identify why they CD, I cannot figure out why they do either, but have been fascinated with them.

  • I think I'm right in saying that a good many of us on here have experienced therapy and, personally, I could shout from the rooftops about the positive value I gained from it (although I know that isn't always the case). I'm certain that many wives would 'push that button' if they could…

  • Personally I'd say what's referred to as 'crossdressing' in all its forms, is a celebration of femininity.

  • Crossdressing may be people accepting, enjoying and hopefully coming to terms with their own femininity at whatever level that exists

  • There are two sides to every argument in a lot of respects women have insulted men by dressing in jeans trousers & further to that have made a point that jeans & trousers now form part there wardrobe so when we dress in there clothes e g skirts & dresses women can't say to much can they?

 

So there's some feedback from other trans people to the comments all in their own way constructive and mainly positive which shows we can have rational discussions about crossdressing and other trans issues even when challenged.

 

I still feel there is no harm done by crossdressing in the grand context of life and that crossdressers are the least understood and for whatever reason maybe bad press the most feared, shunned and made fun of in the trans world.

 

I've had other messages in the guestbook / chat from “wife” which again are constructive and I will blog a reply as feel it needs more than a guestbook / chat and further debate and discussion.

 

What I will say is we cannot all be bracketed the same, we don’t all need therapy, there is nothing wrong with crossdressing if it is thought about more open minded as my wife thinks of it as fancy dress or me dressing up but still me (tho she would rather I didn’t crossdress obviously) and if the escapism of crossdressing does no harm, doesn’t demean women or insult women or paint women as sex objects what’s the problem in someone crossdressing behind closed doors or chatting..

 

I suppose the harm is done by those crossdressers who flaunt the unwritten rules if I can call them rules and blot the copy book for those who crossdress for escapism, relaxation, because we want to, because it feels nice, other issues over and above the reasons of crossdressing, because we love women, love the fem image “imitation = flattery”

 

I hope said wife will continue to comment and hope more people will comment as its a good debate to discuss.

 

I think all we ask of our Wives and girlfriends is some form of acceptance we seek to provide reassurance to them and we worry about this and seek some form of understanding.

 

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