More questions and answers from a wife...

1) Do you dress like the women you are attracted to?

We'll I have 4 wigs.. a long blonde one, short blonde bob, brunette and Red medium length.

Why 4 wigs? Just to see what suits me best, can I pull off looking like a Brunette (fascinating how you have to change makeup styles and colours depending on hair colour), how do I look as a retro red head? Etc.

I'm usually in the long blonde one and one of my crushes is Holly Willoughby another is Gaby Yorath.. but there are so many Celeb crushes, Amanda Holden, Cindy Crawford, Shiana Twain, Sandra Bullock…

I wouldn't say I dress as the woman I'm attracted to (I have no hope of looking like Holly or Amanda… Gabby does sometimes look a little manly tho lol ).

I don't try to emulate a certain woman but do take note of how women do their makeup and try to replicate it if I think it will suit me but I dress like the best I can look as a woman and for me I'm blonde so going blonde works and I like women with longer hair and between me and my wife we picked the long blonde curly wig off ebay and its the one which suits me.

She's seen me in all 4 wigs and says the long blonde one is the best on me.

Makeup wise I don't overdo it and look like a drag queen, I think and my wife will contest I don't do a bad job with makeup not OTT which must be ok as she's asked me to do her makeup.

I don't think I dress like the women I'm attracted to as see above Holly (blonde), Sandra (Brunette) Shania (Red head)..

2) Why do many of us hoard huge amounts of women's clothing?

Well my dresses etc are dresses my wife has discarded and put in black bags for charity shops and I check and intercept them if I think I'd like to try them on or wear them when I dress so I have hoarded quite a few.

As I've said in my blog the next opportunity I get to dress with my wife as a “Girly night in” which we've had a few times I plan on bringing everything down and have a sort out… There is little opportunity for a sort out and I think modelling the dresses as “Davina” for my wife will be fun for us both making the decision what stays and what goes and I expect her to claim quite a few back.

I have my stock outfits I like to wear so it should be easy to whittle my girl wardrobe down to a few dresses.

There is also the need to have a few options on style as like women sometimes we feel the need to glam up as if we were going on a night out and sometimes its just a need for something casual.

Incidentally I have far more male clothes than my wife has female clothes so unrealted to crossdressing I don't like throwing clothes out unless they no longer fit as I'm no 30 inch waist any more unfortunately.

There is nothing at all fetishistic about having hoards of clothes (I have lots of male clothes so what's the difference?) and I also don't think women who have lots of shoes have a fetish as like you said fetish is not about sex - it's about the power an object or behaviour is perceived to have over a person – So why does my wife have about 100 handbags?

Crossdressers aren’t at all obsessed with collecting women's items, we may collect them but as I've done with some of the discarded dresses I've tried some on and then they've gone back in the charity bag as they didn't suit me.

3) Do you think we see ourselves clearly?

Yes I personally see myself clearly and like most men have some insecurities about myself but Alpha Man does not allow these insecurities to surface.

I do think I look prettier when dressed but then I am a man and see beauty in the female image not the male image. Sometimes if I mess up my makeup I don't feel as nice.

I mean to say I can't really look at a bloke and say he's good looking or not for example my wife thinks Jamie Oliver is a good looking chap and I think he's ugly (what do you think?).. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

If I'm clean shaved I don't think much of myself as a bloke looks wise but with a bit of stubble I feel better looking which is maybe not what you may expect of a crossdresser?

I sometimes don't crossdress if I feel my stubble is the right length or if I'm going out as a man somewhere with friends or colleagues I'll not shave therefore I won't dress either.

4) Do I see the 'woman' in the mirror seen objectively'

My wife says I look ok and you may say she has to say that but would hope she would only say that if she meant it. She has told me I could probably pass in public.

The Skype chat with the wife she also said I looked good as a woman and there's no reason she'd have to say that as I asked for an honest opinion.

I also have photos in a trans website and have had comments saying I look nice which is nice for the vanity within.

So I think I can look nice as a Woman.. and I like what I see in the mirror when I have time to look my best as “Davina”

Does it matter though if a man looks really convincing or sexy as a woman as you see some women and wonder what the hell they are wearing or what they think they look like so its all relative.

I think I look ok as a woman but would look better if my nose was smaller and straight as it's been broken playing sport a few times and the last few times I've not bothered having it straightened but I'm not going out to see if I can pass, so happy the way I can look even with a kink in my nose.

I think we are realistic enough to know if we look ok or not and also realistic to know that we can only look as convincing as possible but only a small percentage can really pass as a woman. Some Crossdressers look amazing and you'd never guess.

I don't pretend to think I'm the prettiest girl in town but I know I look ok as “Davina”

If a wife thinks her husband looks like a clown but wants to have some part in his dressing then why not tell him straight he looks ridiculous and help him dress and help him look better, but then of course like a kid in a sweet shop the crossdresser may take advantage of this and want to dress more often and this is where the rules between you like a crossdressing contract come into play.

5) Do I think crossdressers become more obsessed with dressing when life is difficult/dull/busy etc?

Well when I started dressing my life was simple I was around 6 years old and liked the feel, then as I've said dressed more sexy as I became more enlightened to sexy women etc so it became a fetish I suppose but as life has gone on I have progressed to dressing more to look convincing and to unwind.

I'm not sure this can be all because of life difficulties, dull or busy as its also because of opportunity meaning I have more opportunity to explore trying to look convincing and relaxing dressed now than I have in the past having to hide my crossdressing.

It is as I've stated many times my escapism and my way to unwind from the stress of work and of being “Alpha Man” all the time so a part of my dressing is fuelled by life being difficult (stress), dull and busy but this is only part of the pie chart of why I dress.

We don't disappear into our own little worlds where we believe we are pretty women.

I'm still me but inexplicably a more relaxed me when I crossdress.. Maybe in the past sport gave me a lot of this relief allowing me to unwind and be aggressive playing sport and getting a thrill out of being good at sport, scoring goals, trys, taking wickets scoring runs taking a diving catch etc  which now I'm 40 I no longer have.. ie I can't perform to the best of my ability as I used to so it's not as enjoyable.

I need to get fit and find a 5 a side football session again but my ankles and knees are in pain after an hour of football these days due to thousands of miles ran on concrete as a younger man.

Crossdressing for escapism and stress relief has to an extent again only part of the pie chart why I dress taken over this part of my release mechanism.

It can be self therapy as you can read on the internet in a search on crossdressing a few doctors have commented that crossdressing can be a form of stress relief which even they cannot explain but best summed up by one doctor as “an inexplicable pill free form of stress relief for men”

Maybe some of us do need therapy but I'd suggest this would be for the crossdresser feeling immense guilt and denial of his need and urge to crossdress to the left of the “Davina type crossdresser” or those who want or need to go further to the right.

6) Is crossdressing a form of therapy discovered as a kid?

No as when I was a kid Crossdressing was more the fetish of wearing sexy lingerie I wished I could get my hands on a woman wearing.

I was too busy being a boy playing sport, playing Army, playing star wars etc but would when the rare opportunity let me try on stockings and lingerie and heels and get myself off.

It wasn't a distraction from other things it was the shy younger man getting himself off simple as that.

Crossdressing from 10 – late teens I'd say became a bit of sexy fetishy fun.. Exams, school etc didn't stress me out so dressing wasn't for that and monsters under the bed lol I've never been afraid of bumps in the night.

In my 20s dressing was rarer living with my GF who became my wife and dressing almost stopped then the curiosity came back in what's in her knicker draws and wardrobe what would they feel like on etc then stress came into it in my late 20's with stress of work and other things and crossdressing became stress relief to an extent… plus better opportunity to dress wife knowing and more clothing wigs and accessories available became more fun and a challenge to try to look convincing and just relax.

Relaxing crossdressed is pretty rare as I'm usually working whilst crossdressed once per month at home s my only opportunity.

7) Hairy chests v Shaved chests

Listen “Hairy chests are rank” this is nothing to do with crossdressing either that or the majority of men in the UK, US and elsewhere are crossdressers.

Here's the honesty – I don't want to look like an ape!!

8) Crossdressers clearly don't see themselves the way other men see themselves?

What? We've explored the “Normal” and I'm normal, we've explored the Alpha Male who crossdresses and I'm one of them too… so how do Crossdressers see themselves different compared to other men?

Maybe we have more empathy for women? Maybe we have crossdressing as a release other men go to the pub or whatever?

I think I can look attractive as a man but usually when I'm stubbly and when I've dieted and got fit (usually in the summer) and feel nice in myself.

We've already explored why I think I look more attractive as a woman because I see attractiveness in women not men, as simple as that, no self perception glitch.

9) Do attractive men (whatever they look like) really make themselves look lees attractive as a woman…

Back to Lili Elbe (Eddie Redmayne)  does he not look ok as a man and a woman? I suppose this depends on if you think the actor is good looking? Others who have played women in movies such as Jared Leto, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemon, Stephen Dorf, Patrik Swaze, Wesley Snipes, Martin Lawrence, Jude Law, Jonny Depp, Guy Pearce even Adam Sandler good looking men? Who look ok as women?

10) Did I grow up not feeling attractive as a boy?

I don't think so.. I was too involved in sport and too shy to ask girls out but knew girls liked me though thought I was a big head but I got asked out quite a lot just not by the girls I wanted to ask me out so I knew I was attractive and clever and witty but when you're young you also say the wrong things hence I gave the impression I was a big head and arrogant things girls don't like.. It was all a front.

I remember plucking up courage to ask a girl I fancied to a disco at the rugby club walking home from school talking to her and as I was about to ask her bang a friend of mine catches me up and the Alpha kicked in and I didn't ask her.. What an idiot lol.

11) Did you think girls were more attractive than boys?

Of course girls are more attractive than boys I'm straight and love the female image ..

12) If so, do you still think this way? For the record, straight women LOVE the way men look.

Yes – it's part conditioning and part beauty being in the eye of the beholder.

I'm attracted to women and my wife is attracted to men and I don't expect her to be attracted to “Davina”