Over-thiking..

Again a post from Sindy in the Guestbook on overthinking
Sindy wonders, are wives overthinking crossdressing (I think in my way of crossdressing YES.. nothing to fear here) or are crossdressers under-thinking? (Maybe sometimes yes if we try to push the issue too quick too soon etc).

Sindy admits “In the past, when I was trying to become more knowledgeable about all this and made the mistake of perusing the very biased crossdressing forums, I noticed a common pattern where men would suddenly decide to tell their wife of their proclivity, and then in a dizzy joy decide she also must accept and participate in this brand new lifestyle (new to the wife!) and when she understandably freaked completely out and told him to either quit, do it without her or or leave, he pouted to his forum buddies about how uncompromising women can be”

Poor communication can really lead to over and under thinking..

- WHY must women compromise for men's behavior?

Thats upto women to decide we compromise a lot of things in particular that our wives maybe no longer wear the things we'd like them to wear or wear them only occassionally as we've discussed comfort over style or comfort over sexy… We think this means women are mad.
Why compromise? This also comes back to how a Crossdresser tells his wife or girlfriend and how the whole conversation(s) go and how the chats go and at what pace.

- Why should any woman anywhere live with a behavior she doesn't like? Ever?

She shouldnt if it does real especially physical harm but look at the Blog on fetish and the discussion of what if a woman could only wear mens clothes the answer was its unfair to inflict this on women.. but not on men.. hang on thats sexist isnt it?

So women overthink! But agreed with Sindy women also seem to compromise their own lives but i'd say we compromise just as much as women in a relationship .. there are a lot of things which wind us up and we're not happy with but we bite our tongues about sometimes like Eastenders, flat shoes, flip flops, millions of handbags, not wearing sexy lingerie for us… The list goes on and maybe superficial.. but so is crossdressing!!

Agreed Sindy - Even the Davina type crossdresser can affect how a wife feels.. It must affect how my wife feels sometimes to think I have to crossdress to unwind or to feel sexy etc but that shouldn't affect her as the only thing she may do affecting my dressing is she doesn't wear sexy lingerie for me very often to very rare and i'd like her in a dress and tights (mmm stockings even) and heels more and she knows this and knows I drool when she's dressed sexy which makes it all the more difficult and frustrating for us men to deal with when a wife goes for comfort over sexy.

This is reflected in a part of why I crossdress being the compensation i've talked about and if a wife wont wear the sexy lingerie in effect denying something we men lust after and like why have a double whammy of denying a man wearing the lingerie and dressing up to compensate .. sounds harsh isnt meant to but has its perspective and its bloomin harmless FUN!

I know most wives would rather we didn't do it but we'd conversely rather you women did dress sexy and wear sexy lingerie and high heels so we're stuck.

Sindy concludes in this post “Just an observation, but maybe if men thought a little harder they would have an easier time in their marriages, and maybe they wouldn't have started the behavior in the first place”.
However most Crossdressers started crossdressing when young and before we got married and we married a woman who dressed to impress us snared us then dressed for comfort argghhh..
Sindy follows with “Let's face it, a well known boundary is crossed any time a young boy decides to try on his mother's or sister's underwear. A boundary little girls seems innately to know to avoid”

See the boundaries blog …. why would a girl want to try on mens things easier to see why a boy would want to try on sexy lingerie.. especially at an age in puberty when we become aware of sex and whats sexy etc….

As Katie counters “Marriage is, however, a compromise and there does need to be give and take to make it work. We need to accept each others faults and celebrate the positives. It's working as a team and backing each other up, being the shoulder to cry on and the support when times are difficult”