The blog and “My Wifes point of view”

I asked my wife about updating her part of the blog and replying to the messages on her guestbook.

This isn't a rant about her or an attack on her character, (Tho she may read it like that) just thoughts at the moment and questions in my mind about how my crossdressing and other issues are affecting her.

To be honest I cajoled her into adding her thoughts thinking it would help her to get her feelings about me crossdressing and whatever other problems are going through her mind even non crossdresing related thoughts down in print as it's all relative.

I thought in turn this would help other wives and girlfriends understand some perspective, familiarities and see some advice in what she had to write about.

Alas she's said she doesn't want to help anyone else and doesn't really care for the blog or about me crossdressing.

Hard to gauge her hot and cold approach to me dressing.

I know she would rather that I didn't dress up but its hard to accept one minute she seems OK with it indeed might text or say something positive encouraging my crossdressing or talking over the phone give me a confidence boost telling me I look good as a woman and that I could pass as a woman, then the flip side she can be very cold and dismissive about crossdressing if she realises it or not and seems eager to change the subject.

She will call it “the thing” or something other than what it is “Crossdressing” and I know this is her cold shoulder approach when I shouldn't carry on about dressing up as she doesn't seem in the mood.

I take it she's still scared people will discover I crossdress which is understandable but the risk is so low whilst I dress at home behind closed doors and curtains or dress up when away with work in my hotel room. The hand full of times per year..

I've opened up and told her about my crossdressing and she has this blog to read and see my mindset about dressing but isn't as forthcoming in letting me know her feelings and fears about me dressing up or other matters.. Maybe she doesn’t care and I'm thinking too much… Or maybe she's afraid to upset me but she knows as I've told her I don't feel the guilt for crossdressing any more.

I don't see it any more as I'm putting her through anything by being a crossdresser as she has nothing to do with it and doesn't seem to want anything to do with me crossdressing again or in talking about it or helping others come to terms with how its affected her / us.

This isn't just crossdressing it's other things also which may be troubling her which she won't let me in on which is worrying me.

I'm surprised about the not wanting to help part and disinterest in correspondence with other wives and girlfriends. Her way of coping with what she must see as a problem in me dressing up seems to have gone back to ignoring it or acting with disapproval again if she realises it or not.

She's said I don't know what you want me to say and I don't want to make her say anything or do anything she doesn't want to do with dressing and if she doesn't want to be involved and distanced from it so be it but I'm not hiding away from her again dressing is limited and very infrequent as it is and my job is not getting any easier.

What ever other problems and feelings she has about life in general no matter if she feels it may hurt my feelings or not or if it will have an effect on out “normal” relationship aside of crossdressing needs to come out in the wash as bottling things up is no good.

Communication!!