What does a crossdresser want from a relationship?

What do I want? Ideal world?
Imagine this … I sit my wife down and say “I'm a crossdresser” and she says “Wow thats so cool lets see you crossdressed then, oh I have the perfect dress and I cant wait to do your makeup”
“Lets get dressed up sexy together and then lets go off to bed together for some fun”
“We can be lipstick lesbians together” Lol.. its a nice fantasy...

Katie posed this sprouting another blog item..
Katie has been thinking for while what she actually wants from the relationship she has with her wife with regard to crossdressing. It’s always been difficult to actually pinpoint. There are so many emotions spinning through our heads and we always try to look at things from our wives perspective.

Katies perspective and what she wants:
1. Firstly the most important thing is that we are accepted for who we are (Davina - I would add we're still us we haven't changed we just happen to like to crossdress. It’s just a matter of standing back from the situation and looking at it from a different angle)

Not talking about it or even acknowledging it happens may work for a wife but it does make the crossdresser feel a little confused (what is she really thinking) and guilty “why am I doing it why have I put her through this?”
Communication is again key and the speed and depth of discussion needs to be gauged but should continue and not stop as its then so hard to bring back up.
2/ Katie states “Crossdressing doesn't need to be the topic of conversation everyday but just something that is normal, you know ‘How was work today?’ ‘Fine’ end of conversation unless something happened at work that was important! It doesn’t need to be a big deal. ‘I like the way Holly Willougby is dressed do you think it would suit me?’ in casual conversation”
I sometimes have this sort of conversation with my wife I guess I'm lucky I can joke about my crossdressing with her or just talk about it I'm sure she may agree or disagree if I saw a woman in a dress and said “I think I'd look ok in that” she might say yes it would suit you..

3. Katies wife often asks “if there is anything you need”. she’d love to be able to say ‘can you pick me up a pair of tights’ but doesn’t she/he can. She also asks what Katie would like for birthday or Christmas. And again Katie would love to be able to say ‘I’ve seen this really nice dress, skirt, top etc.’ but instead says “nothing” and ends up with something that useful but means less.
4. Katie says “It would means so much if my wife actually bought me an item of women’s clothing, especially if it was a surprise. To me that would be a form of acceptance and would really reinforce our love. Soppy maybe but it would show that’s she’s thinking of me as the whole person and not just part”

5. Katie also likes the idea of a ‘girls night in’ where she can metaphorically let her hair down and talk to her wife in a completely different way, nerve wracking and exciting at the same time but hopefully it would enable Katie to open up to her even more as She'd be totally exposed with defenses down. Maybe it would just help in it being ‘normal’.
All good points to what Katie would like in her relationship with her wife involving her occassional crossdressing and jking aside from my initial scenario I think this is what most of us want:
Davina-
1.Acceptance as something we occassionally do which helps us in some weird and fantastical way to feel sexy in ourselves in the escapism and also the inexpainable stress release we gain from crossdressing.
2. Understanding that Crossdressing isnt a threat to our marriage its just clothing and makeup and an image society says belongs to a woman with men enforced into the tiny choice of clothing crossdressing lets us explore something we enjoy and lets us harmlessly let our hair down in this extraordinary manner and lets us compensate. We may never understand it fully but acceptance and partial understanding is something we crave.
3. Worry free on both parts we worry our wives are worrying and feel guilt. I'm past any guilt its just something I do and I hope the wife is being honest when she says “its just something you do don't worry about it” and “you think too much”
4. The girls nights in are still nerve wracking but something I do enjoy and really I wish she'd take more of a part in getting dolled up too and trying things on and different looks etc to make it more of a girls night in as opposed to a husband and wife night in only once in a while once or twice a year is nice.
5. The wife buying a surprise is always nice even if its a new pair of Stockings or some makeup.
6. Being brave enough and for it to be accepted when we're out shopping if I see something I fancy for “Davina” I'd like it to be ok to say see those shoes reduced to £5 in Primark have they got them in an 8 I want them lol or that lingerie is really nice have they got my size its half price.. I see things sometimes and want to say I'd like to buy this or that or them butt the guilt then creeps in a) Dont want to upset her that I want to buy womens things and b) how can I justify buying womens clothes for myself (unless 5 inch strappy heels for a fiver of course)
7. I'd love her to enjoy my company when I'm crossdressed which she says she does to quote her “You're much nicer when you're crossdressed”
8. Going back to the joke I would like to take my wife to bed when I'm crossdressed but as she's said “I'm not a lesbain” so will take that as a compliment and leave it a fantasy.

Maybe its worth Crossdressers once its out there and a wife has some form of acceptance noting down what they wouldnt mind from a relationship involving their occassional crossdressing and a wife can take a red pen to it and add a cross next to what shes not comfortable with and a green tick to what is ok and an orange marker to the maybe lets see in the future?

However maybe some of the ones with the red crosses will have wives running for the hills lol