Wife - Ok, really awesome answers from both Davina and Katie.

I'm so glad to read a wife saying the question and answers are beyond helpful.

To the wife - “Is your husband reading all this?”

It may be helpful to him also knowing the questions you're answering and the answers I'm giving no matter how hard it is to talk about he can give a nod or a yep or even comment back on here with us as I find when its hard to talk about its easier to write about and then you hit send and its out there.

I wish I knew how to enable comments under each blog… then all this chat would be in one place.

I've gone over this many times in the blog but back 10 years ago married and in our own home the wife out of the blue asked if she could put makeup on me and I eventually agreed and also got dressed up and there I was stood in front of her as “Davina” pre wig availability and pre “Davina” really and she said “Wow you look like a woman”, complimented my legs etc and I openly admitted I've crossdressed before.. This led to the cold shoulder and it was so hard to bring up and talk about it so I wrote it all down..

Maybe I wrote too much getting a life time of crossdressing off my chest and onto her more than ample bossom lol.. the fact we all start by trying on our mothers things etc and wore her things understandably causing her to think I'm a weirdo… Anyway we progressed through the ages to what we have now and I learnt a lot on the way.. Maybe I could have said as I was stood there made up by her in a black dress lingerie stockings and heels “wow I feel amazing you've turned me into a Crossdresser”.. I wonder how she would have taken it differently if I’d lied and said her dressing me up flicked a switch in me and I wanted to do it again….. but I told the truth.

Why is it so hard to talk to your husband? Why do we all clam up?

You can ask the questions to your husband that you're asking here but you're right it may feel a little
....weird and one or the other of you will clam up. 

We went through years of this with my wife saying “I don't know how you want me to react or what you want me to say”.. She must have had similar questions loaded in her brain but too scared to ask them through her fear of upsetting me (which would be hard to do) and my answers could upset her but as you can hopefully see there isn't anything scary in this.. Not in our position on the “Trans” spectrum anyway.

The Davina Type Crossdresser

Have you made up a new label? “The Davina type crossdresser”, how very proud I am to have a label of a type of Crossdresser named after me and how much it will upset some in the trans community who don't like me or the “Davina type crossdresser” lol..

I can't help it if it's fun and escapism and as the Joker would say “Why so Serious”… But for a lot of Trans people to the right of “the Davina type crossdresser” it is a lot more serious so I shouldn't make jokes ..

You also hit it on the head when you said your husband doesn't take it too serious but you do as you are worrying about this too much and I hope via our correspondence you will worry less.

Also nail hit head – We get perplexed at our better halves confusion with us crossdressing and Wives / Girlfriends are perplexed why we're not confused about your confusion … We do worry though and feel guilt for putting you through this.... In the same vane we're perplexed why you don't put on the foundation, blusher, eye makeup and lippy and a nice dress and you're perplexed why we want to lol. - that ol chestnut again “comfort” pah!!

What do wives think we're thinking? I think a lot think we do this to attract men and we've already said that's not true of us but we know it is true of others.

Myself and your husband no doubt contemplate what outfits to wear and see outfits in shops and think I'd love to try that on and see women out and about wearing things we'd like to wear (that's why we look at women lol we're not really thinking pfworrr…. well sometimes we are as we are red blooded men after all despite having seriously sexy legs in Stockings and heels) but not so as to better attract men (yuck) it's to look nice for ourselves and attempt to look convincing.

A message to other wives is you may have this fear about your partner dressing to attract men as some do but most don't and this isn't blackmail but those who do are usually the ones who's wives reject them. That may sound like I'm saying “ACCEPT HIS CROSSDRESSING or he'll go off with a man!!” that isn't what I'm saying I'm saying have an open mind about crossdressing and think of the bigger picture in terms of 1-10 what’s the worst thing he could be and where is dressing as a woman on that scale and how much in control of it is he and how far to the right is he as once you put crossdressing into the vertical 1-10 of worst things he could be doing then theres the left to right trans spectrum from trying on womens clothes through to “I am Cait”

Does dressing as a woman have him thinking like one?

What are you afraid of? Lol.. I'm sure dressing as a woman gives us a small percentage insight of what it's like to be a woman (Small %) yes and we can easily multitask… when we want to… but I just think as me although of course we fret over makeup, and probably other girl type thoughts when dressed fussing with our fringe and the like..

Men using tampons

NO NO NO…. NO!! That is all

My Sanity

I'm over the moon to read you typing that I'm sane.

You're right the media and society leads women to have ideas and images of crossdressing which can really mess with your heads!

Fem behaviours

I mentioned fem behaviours but don't think I actually do mince about as Davina maybe I just relax more when dressed alone than I do when in front of my wife dressed.

I've never tried to put on a high voice to sound fem as don't talk to anyone apart from my wife oh and the wife I chatted to on Skype which you scolded me for but I didn’t talk to her I typed.

I think my wife is relieved that I'm not a drag queen or ultra camp (I think it surprised her that first time she saw me fully dressed to see I looked casual and quite convincing) and when she sees me dressed she sees me as a guy presenting as a woman and acting as I usually do but somehow and this still puzzels me nicer to her.

So yes it makes sense for you to prefer to see your husband when he presents as a woman  as being  himself not him acting like he's someone else or trying to act like a woman,,, for this see Eddie Redmyne in the Danish Girl as his wife gets freaked out to see Lile Elbe start crossdressing sees a fun element to it until Lili takes up a character as Lili at which point it all went down hill for me and I lost interest and it veers off to the right of the Trans Spectrum rapidly.. to a very sad ending..

Have you seen the Danish Girl?.. It's ok to a point then goes beyond the “Davina Type Crossdresser”.. to a piont where it made me think do I want my wife seeing this and wondering if i'd be like that – I know you're reading this (my wife) and I'm at my limit of crossdressing and have no intention of doing anything further.

Majority / Minority, Trans Labels and Trans bickering..

You may be right in stating we're not really Trans and a lot of Trans people would say horah   kick them off the Trans spectrum as for some reason we're the pariahs of the Trans world only one step above what they term “Hairy Panty Wearers”.. I won't elaborate.. google it lol.. and I don't want to seem like I'm putting them down as lots of men may just try on lingerie and not shave or try to look convincing etc.

The loudest voices in trans forums are definitely the extreme-end.

The private, less serious crossdresser is under-represented as lots are in the wardrobe.. cupboard and closet lol -We are very covert and occasional and have to be as for years we hide this as our deep sexy secret.

We would make great international spies! I have thought that I would love to be a policeman undercover as Davina lol “You're nicked me old Beauty”

How much in common do I really have with Caitlyn Jenner other than a love of female attire?

Well there's Sport, Jenner was an athlete so was I back in the day and love sport but Caitlyn went the whole hog, and like in the Danish Girl waaaay past me on the trans spectrum.

So we have little in common in terms of dressing as women as Cait is now a Woman or a Trans Woman or whatever she wants to be called.

I do agree with some of her political thinking.

We have a few episodes to watch so maybe we'll cwtch up on the setee and watch them tonight (me and my wife that is not you lol and a cwtch is Welsh for a cuddle only better “As its WELSH” lol)

I am enjoying the rest day off work and I'll blog about something else in a min from last night and this morning..

I'm sure some questions my wife has wondered about have featured in our correspondence and I know she feels weird talking to me about Crossdressing which I wish could be easier and I'm sure she wishes the same. Maybe reading some of this will help us both communicate better.

My blog is turning into an anonymous 'Ask a Crossdresser' forum (I'm sure your name isn't wife!! Imagining your husband calling out “Wife bring me my dinner!”, “Hello wife did you have a good day?” “Wife Wife do we need any milk!!!” lol) – I understand if you don't want to tell us your name for anonymity but I can assure you my name isn't Davina.. lol

There is also an 'Ask the Wife' on my blog in the form of the wifes guestbook / chat which I notice she's been in answering lately “Yay!”

The whole Idea of my blog as well as therapeutic for myself is to help others.